do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize