So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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