That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
