OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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