Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
