do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
