i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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