I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
In America we eat man semen.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
