i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
