I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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