Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
