i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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