are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
