i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
