We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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