my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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