she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
