i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
