I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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