dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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