So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
