I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
