I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I smell like Dick and happiness
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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