I love black thongs
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
