Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
