is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
