are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
