forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
