This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
