He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
