CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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