The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
