Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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