im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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