another moral hangover. fuck.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
