seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
