You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
