sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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