Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize