Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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