okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
