Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
