You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
