how can u be prego again
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
