I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
they're like a gay fantastic four
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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