I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
