I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
