His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
