He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
