last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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