i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
