I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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