I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
