zippers are such a cool invention
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
