I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
