She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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