these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
