some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
