You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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