I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize