we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
as a side note pls kill me
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
