I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Send help, water and tortillas.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
