i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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