Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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